How I'm talking to people about polyticks

I've decided it needs to be a spiritual practice

This might be more reasonable than I’ve been feeling this week.

We’ve all done it. Someone posts some meme [It’s usually a meme] that brings up an emotional response, and bam, words, then counter, more words! WORDS!!!

Well. That was helpful. Minds were changed. Hearts were opened. Communication happened. [That was sarcasm]

I did it twice since the assassination attempt. [Guess I’ve been kind of emotional.] I’ll admit it, One of them I don’t feel bad about. But the other one…. I’m going to have to apologize. Again.

I accused a relatively new friend of TDS. This wasn’t someone I met online, it was someone I’d met in the real world and have visited several times. The thing is that if we’d been talking FtF I would never have said that, and she would have been very unlikely to show me the meme she shared on her FB feed. She might have made a comment about the Republican candidate, but I think we’ve both been careful to avoid the subject of polyticks. We’ve discussed religion, sex, her tremendously fucked up family [she’s writing a memoir], and various bits of personal development.

But not polyticks.

We all need to. Badly. But how do we do it when everyone, everyone, is starting from a place of emotional stress [we can talk all day about how we got here] With social media, there’s no filter. Instead of checking myself hard when I see something that ticks me off, it’s all too easy to fire something back. I’m sure it’s no different for anyone else. We get to see the inside of everyone else’s heads.

That shit gets exhausting. And fruitless. And addictive.

Even Substack can be exhausting. The long-form posts are better for my brain. But while they give me heart, and often provide some interesting back and forth, that doesn’t translate to other social media or even real life. Most people aren’t thinking with anything but their feelings. Feelings that get flung far and wide. I don’t know if my friend was surprised that I didn’t agree with her. I am sure most people in her world do. I didn’t read her response because I don’t need - or want - to know what knee-jerk reaction she might have put out. [I’ve read enough of those from other people.] I want to keep liking her.

If I want good feelings, I have to deliberately foster them. Which doesn’t mean I have to agree with her.

So here’s my plan for talking to people with different political opinions.

1. Ask what they think about [X] and why.

2. Listen.

3. Say “I agree” or “I disagree,” and “Thank you for sharing!” [Those words only]

4. Shut up.

If asked to elaborate, I will demure and say I’m working on a listening spiritual practice, and this isn’t the time to share my opinion.

People don’t change their minds because of logic. They change their minds because they like and respect the person in front of them. They change because they think the person in front of them cares about them. No one is going to believe that unless I listen first, and probably multiple times.

I’m not asking for paid subscribers, but if you like this then perhaps you could…

My hope is that I can model this behavior enough times that my relationships can move onto a better ground. As urgent as the MSM has been making political opinions, I can’t afford urgency. What I believe is a good idea political is something I’ve considered over a period of years. That’s not going to change because I listened to one person say why. If it does, then they might have something to say I’ve never heard before. [In which case I can thank them for giving me something to think about. Never a bad thing.]

I have no idea if this will work. My role model is musician Daryl Davis who befriended over 200 Klansmen and got them to give up their robes. It’s easy now to treat people with different political opinions as stupid or broken or immoral. We are tribal and such attitudes come naturally when conflict is induced.

And it has been induced. It is in the best interests of the globalists [and others] that we peasants remain divided. I’m an introvert. I’m the only child of a single mother who was an introvert and possibly autistic. I suck at peopling by both training and inclination. But I can’t in good conscience bow out and just hope things get better.

Neoplatonic spiritual practice starts with engaging in philosophy. This is training in putting feelings aside and taking the time to contemplate what words mean. Socrates liked to ask people questions until they forgot what they knew. I don’t have that option now because no one will sit still for it.

So I have a plan.

Anyone want to try this out with me?

If you’re curious about Paganism/Heathenism/Wicca, please feel free to message me and I’ll be happy to answer questions.

Selina Rifkin, M.S. [Nutrition], LMT, has been Pagan since she was 14 [which was a long time ago] and been to Hades in a handbasket. More than once. This has given her some opinions. She has direct communication with her gods and they’ve always given her answers when she asks. [One does have to ask.] Like most of her generation [X] she’s okay with snark. Most days she tries for good writing. But the snark, and side comments creep in. Be warned.