Navigating the Winter Solstice Holidays
Some tips for coping
I’m putting this one out a bit early, so no additional post until after Christmas.
In the Northern hemisphere, the winter solstice is upon us and soon the sun will return. Even in our era of artificial lighting, we know and feel the darkness and cold if we live in temperate zones. The further north one was, the more important was the return of the sun.
For over 20 years I’ve had the good fortune to celebrate Jule [Northern Tradition Yule] with a group of Pagan friends. The kindred started in the early 2000s, and my husband and I were the first non-members they invited to this seasonal celebration. The kindred officially dissolved last year, but the people remain. The ritual is more relaxed now. Instead of reading from the Poetic Edda, we hear a story, taken from the Prose Edda and re-written for the modern ear. The writer is half Icelandic and wanted to tell these stories to his daughter. There’s no corrective voice stopping laughter and while the hosts pray to the Northern gods, they were happy to have us invite other deities into the circle.
The mood and energy was light and playful and happy.
Afterwards, we ate buffet-style and talked until our throats were tired. No one mentioned polyticks. I got to catch up with people I only see once or twice a year. I’m blessed.
Other than this gathering, celebrating the solstice feels like work to me. I haven’t enjoyed Christmas since I was a kid. At some point, a switched flipped and the magic disappeared. It might be the birthdays. My mother’s is a few days before Christmas, and mine is even closer. [I don’t much enjoy my birthday either.] I get family pressure to go up to Maine for my mother’s birthday when my husband often has music gigs. I’ll be missing her birthday again but we will be going for Christmas. Until she passes, that’s the plan. She will be 94.
Most of us celebrate Christmas as well as Yule because our families do. If we’re lucky, it’s not religious. I know Pagans who won’t attend Christmas celebrations because they don’t care to be preached to. I can’t criticize this. Given the toxicity of some of my family members, if religion were added into the mix I might find it unbearable too.
But I’d have to go anyway. I only have a bit longer with my mother. She deserves to have as many people around her as possible. While she might wave a hand and say she doesn’t care, without interaction, she will curl up and die. The means I support her in getting to holidays and never mind that I have gripes about my cousins and aunt.
So how do I cope with the holidays?
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I reflect on the importance of the sun’s return, and the symbolism of that shift. At the Jule ritual we had a scape-goat from woven wheat [courtesy of Ikea] and that was passed around the circle with each person putting something in the goat that they wanted to release, or a wish they wanted to send to the gods. For the solstice, I can contemplate how peace and prosperity grows with the lengthening of the days.
I have a collection of Yule music [list below] that puts me in a better mood. I often listen to this when I’m doing my holiday baking. Got some that aren’t on my list? I’d love to hear them!
I cultivate gratitude to my gods and what they’ve given me in the past year. This is especially helpful for being around Christian religious folks. I can wish them a joyous Yule with sincerity and an open heart. In my experience, being happy, genuinely happy, leaves one less vulnerable to Christian’s urge to preach. I’m very clear what my gods have done for me and can articulate that when someone suggests I need to be saved. Thanks for your concern, but I don’t need to be rescued.
When I get cranky about the Christmas wave, I listen to A Southpark Christmas. This is not Pagan, but it makes me laugh. Do you have some good Christmas comedy? Please share.
I hope the season of coming light brings you fulfillment and joy!
Selina’s Pagan Yule music list
From Sing the Sun’s Return by Lynne and Will Rowan
One for Old One-Eye
Sugar Wassail
Gower Wassail
Drive the Cold Winter Away
Apple Tree Wassail
The Boar’s Head is Armed Gay
Jacobstowe Wassail
This Winter’s Night by Mothertongue [whole album]
Darkest time of Winter by Mothertongue [From Weaving the Web of Life]
Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles
Winter Solstice Song by Lisa Thiel
From Allure by Lorelei
Stopping by the Woods
On the Eve of Midwinter
Holly, Ivy, and Rose by Tori Amos
Ring Out Solstice Bells by Jethro Tull
If you’re curious about Paganism/Heathenism/Wicca/Druidry, please feel free to message me and I’ll be happy to answer questions.
Selina Rifkin, M.S. [Nutrition], LMT, has been Pagan since she was 14 [which was a long time ago] and been to Hades in a handbasket. More than once. This has given her some opinions. She has direct communication with her gods and they’ve always given her answers when she asks. [One does have to ask.] Like most of her generation [X] she’s okay with snark. Most days she tries for good writing. But the snark, and side comments creep in. Be warned.
Pagan Organizations
I think of Xmas as a day of giving when I visit my family. For my sanity, I turn off Xmas music when possible, except for the Temptation's Silent Night.